


a boner to pick with you

by danthezijn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dick Pics, Getting Together, Insecure Steve Rogers, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve can't hold his liquor well, accidentally send a dick pic au, questionable flirting methods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14837805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danthezijn/pseuds/danthezijn
Summary: based on the prompt:BOSS: Know why I called you in here?ME: Because I accidentally sent you a dick picBOSS: [stops pouring 2 glasses of wine] Accidentally?





	a boner to pick with you

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have any excuses for the title.
> 
> all mistakes are my own.

Steve didn't know what he'd done to deserve this. He always finished his work on time, if not early. He got on with all of his co-workers. He met up with his boss, Mister Stark, a lot for work, and their relationship had always been nice and professional.

(The crush he had on the man, of course, was anything but.)

Considering all of this, fate had still decided to make that morning one of the worst in his life. He'd woken up with a headache and dry throat. Waking up with a hangover was never fun, but it had been a while since the last one for him. The only reason he got drunk to begin with, was because Natasha had kept slipping him alcoholic beverages the night before. That was about all the could remember too.

His phone was buzzing on the nightstand, message after message pouring in. He only attempted to read and decipher everything once he'd devoured the biggest breakfast he could – which, considering it was him, wasn’t that big at all – and a cup of coffee. He was glad for it too.

Apparently, he'd tried flirting with Stark. Horribly at that. The last message he'd sent was a _dick pic_ , for Christ's sake. Steve wanted the ground to swallow him up in shame. His boss had responded with a very curt "Come see me in my office Monday, 2pm." Which couldn't mean anything good.

As he'd said, worst morning of his life.

\--

His week kept going from bad to worse. Once he'd arrived at the office on Monday, Natasha had been waiting for him, giving him a knowing smirk and asking if her dating advice had helped. It was safe to say that Steve ignored her for the remainder of the day.

After that, people kept looking at him weirdly. He couldn't imagine everyone knowing about the picture, so that meant he'd probably done something else embarrassing. Not knowing what it was felt more like a bliss than a curse at that point.

It's not that people didn't stare at him on a daily basis anyway. Steve knew of the reputation he had, a fierce loudmouth who'd always get in more trouble than he could handle. Add to that the fact that he was about half the height of everyone around him, he'd gained quite the reputation.

So, people staring at him wasn't something _new_ , Steve could just tell that it was _different_ this time. He hoped Stark wouldn't fire him, so he could actually figure out what it was.

\--

The hesitation only lasted a couple of seconds before Steve knocked on the door to Stark's office. Better get this over with as soon as possible, so he could either hide in shame for a couple of days or find a new job. He really hoped it wouldn't be the latter.

He was called in with a muffled "the door is open" and almost immediately came face to face with his boss. He'd at least hoped to face Miss Pots first, but that was apparently a faraway dream.

It's not like his boss was intimidating, per say. He was taller than Steve, and had way more muscle mass, but on the other hand, who didn't? His brown eyes were sharp, have been ever since his sobriety (which only made Steve admire him more). He was wearing a suit that fit him perfectly, black pinstripe with a white shirt and red tie. He looked amazing.

Stark made some kind of inquiring noise at the back of his throat, gesturing for Steve to sit down on the sofa. Steve blushed as he did so, awkwardly folding his hands in his lap. His boss turned around, back facing Steve now, and started pouring red liquid into two expensive looking glasses. Steve's best guess was wine.

At least it seemed that if he was gonna be fired, it was going to happen gently.

As soon as that thought crossed his mind, Stark asked him, "Know why I called you in here?"

Steve couldn't help but to cringe and look down at this lap, fiddling his fingers. He was nervous, sue him. Anyone would be after accidentally sending a dick pic to their boss and crush of a couple of years. He cleared his throat, before quietly answering, "Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic."

Stark actually stopped pouring the wine, which was probably a bad sign. At least, that's what Steve thought until Stark turned to fully face him and asked, “Accidentally?”

Steve blinked in surprise. Was he wrong, or did Mister Stark sound disappointed? That couldn't be though, right? There was no way that he actually _wanted_ a dick pic of someone as skinny, awkward and shy as Steve, when the man himself was so… everything except that.

He scratched the back of his neck while looking at the floor. “Yes? Did you… Did you want me to send you one?”

When his boss actually blushed and pursed his lips, Steve couldn't believe his eyes. “Really? From _me_?”

Stark bristled, crossing his arms in front of his chest and squaring his shoulders. “And what's wrong about you? Or wanting you, for that matter?”

Steve just scoffed and stood up, mirroring the other man’s stance. “Do you have eyes? That work? You don't need to give me your pity! I know what I look like and I know what people say about me. _No one_ voluntarily _wants_ me. Especially sexually or romantically.”

“I do! I desire you, sexually and romantically, without someone holding a gun to my head!” Stark yelled. “I've been flirting with you since you started working here!”

Steve drew back at that. They were both breathing heavily. He wondered for a second if he'd need his inhaler. Instead he took a deep breath. “You were flirting with me?”

He hated that his voice sounded so small.

Stark seemed to notice as well, deflating where he stood. His face was still flushed. “Have been for a while. Thanks for noticing.”

Huffing out a laugh, Steve sat back down. This just didn't feel real. It felt like any moment a camera crew would jump out exclaiming he'd been pranked.

Stark sat down next to him while letting out an exaggerated sounding huff. “I can imagine you're having trouble comprehending this, seeing that you seem to have a lot of self-esteem issues – you should definitely get a look at that, by the way. Just know that I really do think you're hot and desirable, but I also enjoy your personality. You stand up for what you think is right, which is actually what _is_ right, most of the time, but you're also a sarcastic asshole. I enjoy our banter and I like spending time with you.”

It was silent for a while, Steve taking in all this information and Stark seemingly giving him the time to do so. After a couple of minutes, Stark started talking again.

“When you sent me that picture,” Stark took a deep breath as if to steel himself, “I thought it weird and a little out of the blue. But it also made sense, considering the way Pepper tells me you look at me. I invited you up here to tell you I was flattered, but would like to go on a date first.”

Steve's face felt like it was about to explode. Stark looked slightly pink, but for a person who just confessed all his feelings it didn't seem to affect him that much. Then again, this was the Tony Stark. He was probably used to love proclamations.

“You don't have to feel pressured to reciprocate just because I'm your boss, Steve.”

That snapped Steve out of his daze. “I've had a crush on you for all these years and didn't even notice you were flirting with me!”

The unplanned confessions seemed to have surprised Stark.

“I was super drunk last Friday. Natasha apparently convinced me to use 'a certain method’ to flirt with you. That's probably why I send the dick pic.” Steve winced. “So yeah, it was an accident, but not one I'm regretting right now.”

Stark positively beamed, his smile was so big. “Would you like to go on that date, then?”

Feeling bolstered by all the information he received in the last fifteen minutes, Steve leaned forward to softly kiss Stark on the lips.

“I would love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> i know i missed posting a story last week, which is why i'll upload 2 today! yay!
> 
> not pictured in this fic: natasha and pepper high-fiving cause their plan totally worked.
> 
> i don't know what possesed me to write this. once it was in my head i couldn't get it out. i honestly can't imagine accidentally sending someone a dick pic, but shit happens i guess?? the hardest thing about this fic was thinking up a reason how it happened lmao.
> 
> let me know what you think!


End file.
